the truce

i'll be gone for the holidays.
don't call me.
i'll be busy forgetting you.

the real deal

this isn't a game anymore.

this isn't a drill or a backup.

this is not a joke.

this is where you speak real words

and think real stuff.

this is where the battle continues

and you need to buck.

this is the real thing.

and this isn't highschool.

so get a grip and grow up.

holiday fever

i am down with a sickness..
i cannot seem to spell anything right today.

my mind is absent.
my heart is taking a holiday.
it's an empty hall in here.
but no worries. they'll be back soon.
they always go back...soon.

charades

we are like in a game of charades.

you acting and me trying to figure you out.

if only you interpret the words good enough.

and i can get what you are intending to say.

or rather..

if only i can read minds.

that would be way easy.

love month part 2

i don't mind at all when you make cute faces,
cool comments and pretty moves.

the jitters has finally subsided.

i guess that's what happened
when you are able to be sure
that all inside is honest-to-goodness
love.

love month part 1

blue cloudless sky.
the beach and summer.
fresh air and nature.
dried leaves and autumn.
friday nights and the whole day next.
midnight and sweet dreams.
december. birthdays and christmas.

few of my favorite things..

when it happens..
i feel 'love'.

the best of the worst

maybe we can never patch things up.

maybe we can never hold hands or even make a smile.

maybe we can never see each other straight in the eye.

maybe we can never say sorry,

maybe we can never say a real 'goodbye'.

but then...
maybe it's alright.

maybe it's the way it is.

maybe it's life 'at it's best' for both of us.

laugh bites

funny how foolish things get into you.
the dumber it gets, the more it blows you.

pathetic.
i need to think like a moronic disabled kid
just so i can get your coolness these days.

time for me to laugh. hard.

the time we grow up

reach and pull.

not reach and fall.

never lower down your wisdom just so you can level it with someone.

we have come to life's point

where we can be proud enough

of who we have grown to be.

it doesn't make sense to go back and be callow.

guide lines

every now and again..

remind me

to lose a bit of you.

blink

there is a space between doubts and trust.

the small distance from fear to solace.

a blink from rest and reality.

wherever that is..

i am found today.

even for a shortwhile.,

i breath in the freedom.

antidote

i don't like how this feels like..

give me reasons.

something.

anything.

just help me..

please.

'coz i don't trust myself today..

i can't seem to find the strength to quit you.

storytell

i was doing a good job playing my role.
i thought this scene was over for me.
yet the script has yet to change again.
and here i am caught waiting for the part,
where i would play the pathetic villain again,
or the serene hero this time.

will i bear saving the day,
telling a happy ending?
or will i ruin everything and face death in the end?

this is us..
we are living life like a full drama series.

my place

and i wonder what it would be like to be them.

no.

i can never be.

and i don't think i want to be.

the view in my corner of you is far much better.

our game

you wander around all day

and i try not to make time to notice.

i am winning anyway,

until you rob my game again.

unfair,

you always are.

how could i escape you in my dreams?

you backstabbing freak.

book 2

company.
time.

laughter.

secrets.

instincts.

thoughts.

dreams.

wishes.

heartbeat.

this is not a

dejavu

of failures.

your place

i have been to your place..

curiosity digs you low
until i almost lost my way
and be burried within your soul.

now i have gone right outside your gates..
yet it invites me again..
into your deep i dwell.

i know this..

that's why it scares the hell out of me now.

the fair share

when you hurt, you make reasons.

when you escape, it is for the best.

when you fail, it needs to happen..

because this world says so.

but,

when you're the one who's hurt,

left behind,

disappointed.

this life seemed so unfair.

and what does that say to you?

you're not the only one who gets afraid..

everyone does.

get a grip and hold on to yourself.