12 am

i could never really understand..
no matter how much i move forward,
i kept going back the same way...
i kept repeating the page.

everyday,
i try to flip a leaf,
to move farther ahead..

i tried.. i am still trying.. and i will..

but everynight,
i go scan back the best parts..
i take a few steps behind.

i lost.. i am losing..(i'm afraid) i still will..

just like that..
i lose the things that need to matter.
on what freedom really feels like.
on why letting go is the the only way.
on how love really ends.

when can i ever completely understand...
that certain things had all come and passed already..
we are here no more.