left of an ego

everytime i asked myself

to give it another chance.

everytime i told myself

to try it again.

everytime i pushed myself

to take that choice.

but whenever i do and risk it all over again.

it hits back like a deadly wave crashing.
it feels like a trap ready for ambush.

leaving me humbled and trashed in the end.

and everytime (it happens)

i comfort myself

to understand.

it is the only thing left to go back to.